So I'm having a bit of a blah day, folks. Very much a why bother kind of day. I opened up the document for the new novel, and felt blah about it. And then I opened up the ms that's currently making rounds to smaller Canadian presses, and felt blah about it. Blah. Blah.
I mean, why bother? Why bother, when the newest recipient of the Orange Prize is a mere 25 years old, or when the author of the latest YA fantasy craze is only. Twenty. Two? Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all of the talent that's out there, in the world. Some days, I wonder if I really have anything worthwhile to say.
The good news, of course, is that these kind of feelings don't last forever. Especially when there are PUPPIES involved!
My sister and her partner got a new puppy, two days ago. Her name is Aries. She's a Rottweiler. But not just any Rottweiler. THE CUTEST ROTTWEILER EVER. And today, smack in the middle of my struggles with the computer, they came and paid a visit. So I took a much needed break from the blah-ness and the humdrum-ity (and that's a word because I say so), and ran around on the lawn with a puppy. I won't go so far as to say that it reinvigorated my creative fire, at least not yet, but it certainly was happy times.
I mean, how can one not rejoice when there are such things as puppies in the world?
I mean, why bother? Why bother, when the newest recipient of the Orange Prize is a mere 25 years old, or when the author of the latest YA fantasy craze is only. Twenty. Two? Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all of the talent that's out there, in the world. Some days, I wonder if I really have anything worthwhile to say.
The good news, of course, is that these kind of feelings don't last forever. Especially when there are PUPPIES involved!
My sister and her partner got a new puppy, two days ago. Her name is Aries. She's a Rottweiler. But not just any Rottweiler. THE CUTEST ROTTWEILER EVER. And today, smack in the middle of my struggles with the computer, they came and paid a visit. So I took a much needed break from the blah-ness and the humdrum-ity (and that's a word because I say so), and ran around on the lawn with a puppy. I won't go so far as to say that it reinvigorated my creative fire, at least not yet, but it certainly was happy times.
I mean, how can one not rejoice when there are such things as puppies in the world?
Oh, puppies! I know exactly what you mean. In my line of work, I can be having the worst day and then a sweet four-legged furball comes for a visit at my desk and I can't help but think it's all worth it.
ReplyDeleteAs for why bother... bother because this is the thing you love. Because as difficult as it is sometimes, there's joy in those moments when you find the perfect sentence, the perfect word. Bother because there are stories that matter to YOU. And if they matter to you, then they are bound to matter to someone else. Bother because in the end it's not all about prizes or bestsellers, it's about adding a little bit of beauty to the world that couldn't have existed if you weren't there to create it.
I think that we have these days to keep us moving. If we felt good about everything that we did every single day, we would never have a reason to work harder. This constant internal conflict between recognizing our own talent and not feeling good enough is what we need to keep us moving forward.
ReplyDeleteIn the words of the great Randy Pausch "The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people."
I'm thankful for Puppies - they keep us smiling :-)
Every day I ask Lucy if she wants a puppy. I love watching her ears pop up. She has no idea what I'm saying. But I'm careful to always say it in front of C. I'm trying to get a message across.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, with us at work all day, we don't have time for a puppy. :( Puppies are wonderful; they're magic. And the best part of that is that even as they grow, they refuse to lose that magic, and their cuteness!
PS. Never mind how young these authors are. It gets me too, and that there are an increasing number of them.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely understand how you feel. I do. Yet I find it easy to tell you, you should bother because it's in you. You are a writer. You have the skill and (worthwhile) things to say. Do it first for you. That made sound selfish, but that's what keeps me trying.
I'm totally freaked out by the much younger authors who already have multi-book publication deals and movie deals and this and that and blah, blah, blah...
ReplyDeleteRecently I had to give myself a talking-to on the subject. I know I didn't have the emotional maturity necessary even to write a YA book at the age of twenty, or twenty-two or even twenty-five. I'm writing now because it's my time to start writing. And yes, I said 'start'. No matter how much I want to hit the big time, I have to concede it may not happen for a while. But that lack of big time hitting will not be for lack of effort on my part. All we can do is keep on going, finding joy in the stories, that passion that made us start writing in the first place. You are not alone!